bestival
Sun, 2007/09/09 - Isle Of Wight
ARTROCKER RATING:
The weird event occurred at 7am. I awoke in my tent to discover that my mouth was rotting, my brain was melting, and that the sun was microwaving me alive in my sleeping bag. Demented and irrational, I lunged for a bottle of water, thanking Jesus for its cool hydration. I downed it, and quickly realised that it was liquid meths. As the roof of my mouth dissolved and slid down my throat, I could hear myself screaming. Well, nothing was quite the same after that.
The Rumblestrips are only just upstaged by their mosh pit, which features Ming the Merciless, Bananaman, and Super Mario - who appears to be smoking a reefer.
Right! Let’s get one thing straight: Bestival is The Best Ival! It’s essentially the tropical island from Jurassic Park with bands instead of dinosaurs, and an Ewok City high up in the forest surrounding it. It’s so fun that many people have been known to suffer a strange allergic reaction and fall into the sea. And the Beastie Boys wouldn’t play just anywhere, right?
Kicking off the ‘BBC Introducing’ tent, THE PRISCILLAS don’t break any rules, but their glittering cat suits and do-or-die ethos is as kinky as the festival itself. Everyone that wished THE LEVELLERS had broken up in 1999 has a mild hernia when they see so many people enjoying them on the main stage, but even they can’t out-fiddle THE MACCABEES: “This is our last festival of the year and we recognise so many of you!” they beam, then dive into some mental-speed hi-hats.
THE DUKESBOX are three spandex wearing musicians crammed into a tiny caravan that’s been painted like a jukebox. Members of the public put money in, and they play rag tag versions of ‘Firestarter’ & various chart hits… they’re utterly hilarious. XX TEENS meanwhile, are just sadists. They grin behind sunglasses while their music provides the missing link between Frank Zappa and happy hardcore. THE CHEMICAL BROTHERS round things off with a lightshow that nearly makes up for the death of Pavarotti. I said nearly!
Next day is costumes day – and the dragged up RUMBLESTRIPS are only just upstaged by their mosh pit, which features Ming the Merciless, Bananaman, and Super Mario - who appears to be smoking a reefer. THE SURGEONS are all bald, and all excellent: they fuse 60s B-movie themes with wild monkeyman blues. “Welcome to the Isle motherfuckers!” Word up, it’s THE BEASTIE BOYS, spitting out their words like stuntmen and walking the tightrope like they were born to do it. As the double punch of ‘Sabotage’ kicks in, the gradient of Planet Earth rotates 30 degrees to the left - and the citizens of Bestival start kicking the air like Kung Fu masters. The night is on…
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