late of THE pier, zzt (sadly not zz top) , THE dead 60s, alabama 3 - this week's singles!

THE DEAD 60S / STAND UP (DELTASONIC) I can’t help it, but every time I hear this tune the face of Grant Nicolas from Feeder floats before me like some ghoulish apparition. There certainly is a whiff of ‘The Feed’ to these lads, but that’s not to damn it entirely: the spectre of Joe Strummer also hangs over the vocals, and there’s at least water-tight rhythm section to swing from. THE TACTICIANS / GIRLS GROW UP FASTER THAN BOYS (SETANTA) If you can get past the wonky 6th form poetry in the verse, this is a grower of a pop tune. Its melancholy chorus goes nicely with the dead leaves of autumn, and there’s even a hint of brass in there to give it a northern soul underbelly. For Gawds sake though lads, that verse is terrible. “You really don’t understand my madness!” Nope, I don’t. So just cut to the chorus please. ALABAMA 3 / LOCKDOWN (ONE LITTLE INDIAN) This song is destined to soundtrack a Bacardi advert. It sounds like it’s being sung by a man in white trousers, a man who’s flashing his golden teeth at the party, and smiling while a snake-like woman curls up around his legs. He pops a few peanuts. He bends his knees to do the boogie. He is an utter cretin. ZZT / LOWER STATE OF CONSCIOUSNESS (TURBO) Er… oh dear. What’s going on? This sounds like a car tyre being stretched apart… then attacked by an army of rogue Playstations. I’m sure that someone will eventually decode all the bleeps of this song and realise it’s a message from aliens, warning us to evacuate the planet or be destroyed. Until that time, I’d highly advise you to consume vast quantities of drugs before even considering tackling it.