AKIRA THE DON INTERVIEW

Fortunately one man is on a mission to organise music into the only two genres that really matter: "Music you'll like" and "Everything else". That man is Akira The Don and for this reason and many others he is currently the Northern Hemisphere's greatest living popstar.

For the past two years Akira has been combining tunes of all flavours, adding a hint of dialogue from American talkshows and the odd ATD exclusive track to create some of the best mixtapes the interweb has to offer. Wanna hear a Notorious BIG track mixed seamlessly into a George Formby song? Try ATD mixtape number 9. Katie Melua followed by Dizzee Rascal? That'd be ATD 10. Best of all, he gives them away free via his website www.akirathedon.com. In more enlightened times such generosity would have lead to an island in the South Pacific being named after him, but for now ATD's only reward is a huge bandwidth bill each month. Hopefully his advance from Interscope Records (home of Dr. Dre and Gwen Stefani amongst others) will last long enough for him to keep providing this public service until the royalties from his debut album start rolling in.

Many popstars now have blogs but mostly they're full of bland, PR driven waffle which add nothing to the sum of human knowledge. In contrast, Akira's blog is consistently funny, immensely readable and definitely a step above the normal, "went to the recording studio, decided the poverty is bad and then went out for a lovely meal with Arsecheek from The Kooks" rubbish written by his contemporaries. As described on his song "Living In The Future" he updates the blog on his website daily mainly because if he doesn't then his inbox gets filled with emails from people who are worried that he has been arrested/kidnapped/killed by The Man. Subjects covered in the Akira blog usually include a healthy portions of conspiracy theories, religion, politics, cooking tips, hip-hop and Chris De Burgh. All human life is there.

Of course mixtapes and blogs are all very nice but when it comes to deciding the true worth of a popstar there are only three factors which should be taken into account - the haircut, the tunes and performance in a Smash Hits style random question interview. Akira's long, bleach blonde locks means he passes the haircut test with flying colours, and he also gets bonus points for his Dali-esque moustache.

In the tunes department he also scores highly. Pop scientists have recently confirmed that "Thanks For All The Aids" is one of the 7 greatest songs which has been recorded this decade. "Play Me", from 2006's "Five And A Half Songs About Love" EP is as beautiful and delicate a song as you're likely to hear and his collaboration with bravecaptain, "Jerusalem" is the best comment on "The War on Terror" since the Dixie Chicks got a bit stroppy a few years ago.

Akira's next release is a double A side containing his Elastica sampling "BOOM! (Smash Stuff)" and the song which would have been the soundtrack to your summer if he'd released it a couple of months earlier "Oh! (What A Glorious Thing)". For now it'll have to be the soundtrack to your autumn and will help to pass the time until the first ATD album is released in November.

If he's got the locks and he's got the hooks then that just leaves the interview test. Read the answers given below and you'll surely conclude that, if he could dance as well as Shakira, he'd be the best popstar in the world.

Artrocker: Which are the best pair of trainers you currently own?

ATD: Some ancient lue Nike dunks. They are very boff. I am a hypocrite.

Artrocker: Should the Steve Buscemi character been killed off at the end of series 4 of The Sopranos? And who's you're favourite character? I'm a Christopher fan.
ATD: Yeah, he was a DOUCHE! And you're right, Chrissy rules. But I like Pauly. He made me so sad in that recent episode where he found out about his Mammy. Poor bugger. He's such a boy. It's so sad what happens to boys.

Artrocker: When you're DJ-ing which is the killer tune that you can always rely on to make the crowd go wild?
ATD: That Game/50/Daft Punk/Hendrix/Luda bootleg I did wot is called Robot Connection always works. That and Bat Out Of Hell.

Artrocker: Did you submit your "Snakes On A Plane" track, from ATD mixtape 12, to the people who put together the soundtrack for the film?
ATD: Never got round to it, foolishly enough. That was Swine's deal anyway, I just helped a bit. Swine's new song is incredible by the way. Brett Anderson reckons it's better than 'We Are The Pigs'. That'll be on my next mixtape. You're gonna love that thing. It's disgusting.

Artrocker: Will your album have skits on it and can you name an example of a hip-hop album where you don't want to fast forward past the skits after you've heard them once?
ATD: My album is linked via dialogue. In a 36 chambers sort of way, I guess. But very me, you will agree when you hear it. I always love Ghost's skits. And the ones on Death Certificate were ace. And that Goats LP, you remember that? "YOU'RE NOT MY UNKLE SCAM!"

Artrocker: What is the secret to cooking a decent roast?
ATD: Loads of GREASE. A small amount of lemon juice. And strawberries in the gravy.

Artrocker: If your album sold milions of copies and you became world eattingly big, do you think you'd turn into a 24 hour champagne swilling party animal or a fame shunning recluse?
ATD: Neither. I did the former when I was 21, and the latter when I was 23. I'm gonna become a 24 hour block rocking yogist ninja.

Artrocker: What do you think of Robbie Williams' attempt at rapping on his new single? (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2kC_IDlweQo)
ATD: Well, for a start, Rudebox is a fucking brilliant name for a song. And for a second, Robbie's rapping has always been great. But dude, he's uppped his game on this! He's shitting all over the game! Taskforce are fucked now! "TK Mask costs less..." that's sick! I wanna know who produced this, it's ill.

Artrocker: Do you have your second album all written or are you going to wait an Elastica-esque length of time before putting it out?
ATD: I have three more albums written. To speed up the process I'm going to put a couple out under different names over the next 6 months. Now the whole interscope freakshow's nearly done, I can just gogogo. I shall not stop now. That's that.

Artrocker: Is the Ghostface Killah album the best non-ATD album released this year? It is isn't it?
ATD: It's pretty fucking awesome. LIl Wayne's killing it though. And that Adam Green record was pretty smart. Fuck that though, this Robbie Williams record is the nuts! What a kind man you are for sending it me. Happy am I now. LET US RUMBLE!