Ah, youngsters! Playing football in the park, climbing trees with reckless abandon, hanging out with Bowie; not a worry in the world!
Sorry, what was that bit about Bowie?
Yes, Bowie. You see, New York’s pre-teen punk rockers Tiny Masters of Today haven’t had, or rather aren’t having, what most would consider a ‘normal’ childhood. Creating the sort of scuzz-enfused garage rock that would make the D4 (ask your friendless, hygiene-starved older brother) pap themselves, Brother and sister duo Ivan, 13, and Ada, 11, are about to release their debut album to practically slathering public. And the Thin White Duke himself has already declared himself a fan.
It’s not just him either: John Spencer Blues Explosion sticksman Russell Simins is their drummer, and previous collaborators include Karen O and Kimya “Mouldy Peaches” Dawson. It’s sort of like Jim’ll Fix It - if your childhood dream just happens to be to reviving the flagging careers of indie also-rans, that is. Why not just have Jason Stollsteimer and Dolf de Datsun on hand-clap duties and be done with it?
‘Bang Bang Boom Cake’ stays true to the band’s influences; catchy, distorted guitar riffs mixed with simplistic anti-establishment lyrics - and considering they have an average age of 12, it’s pretty impressive stuff. But something doesn’t seem right about it, something almost, sorry to say it, creepy about the whole debacle; like those car adverts featuring the two fat kids as middle-aged northerners, or Lil’ Chris.
It’s difficult to know exactly who this will appeal to, seeing as listening to a protest song about George Bush (or “Bushy”) by someone who isn’t able to even vote for another six years is a bit like being taught open heart surgery by Lenny Henry; a nice enough idea, but you can’t really take it seriously. Child stardom can be a difficult cross to bear, and time will tell whether the pressures of such early fame will take its toll. Will they ascend to the status of Rock Royalty? Or will they resurface in 10 years time, possibly on assault charges, as bitter, slightly-unstable heroin addicts? Sadly, there isn’t much evidence on this record to suggest either scenario.
Maybe they’ll just end up in telesales.
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there kids are pretty good..
i had no clue they were that young..
I think they are pretty good..
this article doesn't describe the band at all in my opinion, i read other articles and interviews from bands and this article seems like the complete opposite.
maybe the website is just bias against kids who rock harder then the writers .haha.. idk
wow
let me just start off by saying that ivan is one of my best friends. this kid could make anyone smile. he has the absolute biggest heart ever. his music is great. and it puts a positive perspective on kids in the music industry. all they are doing is trying to do what they love. music is something that should not be judged.
The Bottom Line.
Let's put this straight - their music isn't very good. Have any of you seen them live (ie. when they played the club a few months ago?)? What did you think? Kind of off-key, tired-looking little kids playing rock and roll is what I saw. Why is this being held up as great music? I admire the spirit, the support they are getting from their parents/entourage/the press, but it's not really good music is it? I agree there is worse music doing better (The View for instance), and I can see it being enjoyable to some, but it just isn't for me.
As for the stronger issues here - I'm sure that there is a bit of coercsion to keep the kids motivated. I do believe they are making the music for fun and to play to people. I don't, however, think that the places they play are environments suitable for kids. That is all.
Age
Why can people not look past the age of these kids and see that they are, in fact, just two people making simple but oh so delectable music? Why try and make it a gimmick? Does it just make it easier to slag them off...to say they are bad because of a bad gimmick? Also, Karen O's career is something quite far from flagging. In fact her band has made two of the more incredible albums of the last decade and they are set to release a new EP very soon to much anticipation. An indie star she is, a flagging one she most certainly is not.
yeah, what oldfart said
I don't think I can voice my disagreement with your review any better than oldfart already has. I could probably spell it a little better but I digress. Besides a few unimportant typo's he has said all that needs to be said.
I do take extreme umbrage at your classification of Russell Simins as an "indy also ran" with a "flagging career"....currently playing drums for Tiny Masters of Today, recording and playing live with The Pierces, writing, recording and playing live with Jena Malone & Her Bloodstains... just released a record he produced with DAN THE AUTOMATOR called MEN WITHOUT PANTS on which he co-wrote the songs, plays and sings on and last but most definately not least, A new Blues Explosion album is coming out in the fall...well, not really new, it's more of a compilation of all their 'In The Red' jukebox singles but still, as you can see from the list above (and I am sure he has other projects as well) I think Russell Simins is anything but an "indy also ran" suffering from a "flagging career"
your review
tiny masters are a good little punk band. who knows whether they are going to be big or whatever. they are creative kids and theyve got some cool parents who allow them to channel their creativity. an older band playing punk music as good as tiny masters would I think be very happy with themselves. i am not an expert on indie stars, so i cant comment on your slagging off of the other artists involved, bar to say that you sound pretty vindictive about the whole thing. seeing as 12 year olds are involved, and knowing i am sure how sensitive kids can be, it seems you probably have some pretty nasty unresolved issues about being a kid at some time in your life. if u cant connect with the pleasure of talented kids having some real fun without ranting off like some twisted old alco in the pub, id stay shctum really. after all, children are the only future this world has, and as you are quiet clearly a shining example of the problem, I just hope we can hear more of what they have to say about our world leaders, and their inanity. i can certainly take the kids views on bush more seriously than i can your bitter old rant.
Are you all in the band?
Are you all in the band? Actually I don't think they could formulate such opinions themselves. Are you the band's parents? Tell the truth.
You could be the biggest TMOT fan in the world (as I know some people at Artrocker are) and still see that it's weird as fuck that these kids are playing this music. Because... it's weird as fuck. I feel uneasy about the whole thing personally. I like that George Bush song and I like the fact that they're obviously filling a gap for kids. I just don't like the fact that I don't believe they're doing it for any other reason than they're being told to and I don't like the fact that there is very real room for the obvious sexual implications; for old men to be enjoying this music for some very, very wrong reasons. Blame society if you must but fuck you if you don't think we're allowed to think it's a little bit wrong.
Because it fucking is.
New edition, Jackson 5?
New edition, Jackson 5? Is it just a problem for some people because it isn't pop? And ffs leave the paedo-hunting to the news of the world.
Of course it is weird as
Of course it is weird as fuck!!! That's what makes it so cool!
Projecting sexual implications into this probably reflects more upon you than it does them or anybody else. If adults think it is cool, that doesnt make them pedophiles (unless of course they are in which case they deserve a proper thrashing,)
They are a good little punk rock band whats the big deal?
Dude, you have some issues
What is so weird about kids playing music? Good music at that, would it be more acceptable to you if they were dancing around with some purple fucking dinosaur and singing about rainbows???
Oh yeah, one more thing, for you to even somehow manage to bring "sexual implications" into this disturbs me greatly....talk about fucking weird.
In my defence...
Just to clarify, I didn't make any mention of "sexual implications" in my review, that was a separate point which Tego raised.
I do, however, stand by my original point that I find it faintly creepy, as I do with many situations that involves children trying to act like adults (that includes adverts with talking babies - wrong).
I also agree with Tego's point that it's incredibly naive to believe these kids formulated their "political" opinions themselves, as they are barely old enough to grasp what politics actually is (although the age of which kids begin to develop social awareness is, admittedly, a different debate entirely and has little place on a music website). The whole thing just smacks of a PR stunt.
As you'll notice, I didn't ever say there was anything wrong with the music, although it isn't really to my taste and belongs to a scene which, in my opinion, died four years ago.
And to the person who said to look past the age issue and concentrate on the music rather than silly gimmicks is, frankly, missing the point. You can't look past the age issue, because it's ALL they have; if this music was being made by 25 year olds I doubt a record label in the land would've signed them, because, and I'm sorry to be a party pooper, it simply isn't that good.
Anyway, I welcome any constructive feedback.
Just to be sure
Wanted to clarify in case my comments were misinterpreted....
My comments about "sexual implications" were a reply to Tego.
I did not mean to suggest that the author of the review made any such comments.
the author should still apologize to Russell Simins though :D
I do, however, stand by my
I do, however, stand by my original point that I find it faintly creepy, as I do with many situations that involves children trying to act like adults (that includes adverts with talking babies - wrong).
Surely we should be more concerned with the adults acting like kids in the music biz eh? ;)
You can't look past the age issue, because it's ALL they have; if this music was being made by 25 year olds I doubt a record label in the land would've signed them, because, and I'm sorry to be a party pooper, it simply isn't that good.
Totally disagree. There are plenty worse bands gracing the covers of magazines. You may not like their music but it's a bit strange to say that therefore nobody else can genuinely like it. You or I may not understand why anybody likes Barry Manilow but that doesn't mean his records were sold under duress.
I spoke to somebody who
I spoke to somebody who interviewed the kids [and their parents] for Artrocker and he confirmed a lot of my issues. There are gimmicks and there are gimmicks. This one to me is very difficult for me to come to terms with. I'm 21. I have a pretty clear memory of where I was at their age, I heard their demo about a year ago at the Artrocker office and was told about the background; Tom and Paul were really into it and of course I respect their opinions musically above almost all, but I never shook my original feelings.
It's clear to me, as was mentioned above, that should they be 25 year olds they'd be another band playing standard garage-art-punk to not much interest.
If you're not willing to confront the very real issue [in my eyes] of the potential deviancy surrounding the group then that's on you. I won't bury my head in the sand and pretend it doesn't exist. These kids don't know what they say, they don't know what they play, it's direct manipulation, which can be considered a typical byproduct of such sadistic masochism. I believe there's potential for people to read into that and come out with the wrong idea. I'm not saying "They shouldn't be allowed" I'm just saying that the band are not organic enough to me, for such blatant demographic catering.
I think it's unhealthy but maybe that has something to do with my insider knowledge of the issue. Maybe it's because I've had longer to formulate my opinions. Either way I won't back down from my initial post. It feels very wrong.
The "obvious sexual
The "obvious sexual implications" (as you put it) are in your head mate. I really hope the band haven't read the frankly creepy _inferences_ in this thread. Funny how you and DC seem obsessed with their age, while everyone else is interested in the music. Fine that you don't like it but no need to try and make the case that the rest of us are into it for some kind of pervy reasons - that's just offensive to everybody's intelligence.
There's a "very real issue"
There's a "very real issue" of potential deviancy? What are you on about? They are probably far safer playing rock and roll than if they were church altar boys or something like that?
Are you suggesting that you have "insider knowledge" that their parents are practicing some sort of "sadistic masochism" on them and make them do this. If so, do tell- thats pretty juicy stuff!
Really, you are making this into something completely creepy.
All kids should form rock bands, most might not be any good but it sure beats watching tv. It seems really weird that a bunch of adults are sitting around trashing them for it. What you all should really be saying is, the music sucks but bless their little hearts for trying!
I'm not saying that the
I'm not saying that the people who like them are into them for any evil reason. I know people who are into them. I know the people who brought them over and the people who put them on the cover. I'm just saying that there's an element to the whole thing that doesn't sit right. I would happily condemn my fears to being "Just in my head" but to be honest I know they aren't. I know there are many who feel that the whole project is an unsettling one when considered.
I'm not saying their parents are doing anything like that, but whispering the answers to interview questions to the kids before they can answer reeks of manipulation to me. Manipulation on that scale is a frightening thing to me. Especially when it comes to children as young as that.
My issue is not with the fact that they're young and in a band at the end of the day. It's not that they're going to be on TV or in magazines. My issue is purely with the fact that I don't believe they have much choice in the matter. That unsettles me somewhat.
God, this is becoming
God, this is becoming prolonged. You dont' like the record, that is a completely logical and reasonable stance to take but it is really interesting that both the review and your comments delved into a personal attack on the adults around this as though there is some sinister conspiracy afoot and these kids are in danger. Do you indeed have some sort of evidence that these kids dont have much choice in the matter? Realize that you brought pedophilia into the discussion so there is a really sinister undercurrent to all this. What exactly are these kids being forced to do? Should the authorities be notified? Words like "manipulation" are really strong words especially in a thread that implies their parents are pimping them in some manner.
Are they being forced to play 2 chord punk rock with inane lyrics? Kids have been doing that for years, why is it so hard to believe that they might do this for fun? Do you suggest they dont write their own songs or play their own instruments? Where were the parents whispering answers to them? I checked the issue of artrocker with them on the cover and unless i missed it, it doesnt say that at all. Maybe the writer of that article should chime in because she met them and their parents. It would be interesting to see what somebody else at artrocker who obviously know them has to say.
If all you have is some vague unease about the whole thing, perhaps it is best to keep it to yourself rather than make really nasty and very loosely supported charges in a public venue. You are smearing them and their parents as well asimplying that the adults that like their music might be pedophiles, and basing it all on some sort of instinct that you alone possess. This isn't Noel and Liam Gallagher, they are a pair of little kids doing something kooky and relatively uncommercial. I wouldnt expect this to pay for college. I am sure there are plenty of child performers whose parents have pulled them out of school who are more worthy of you concern. If you really have some sort of proof of any of this, it might be newsworthy but otherwise it is a little irresponsible.
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