Angry tween tries to assassinate Justin Bieber, throws water bottle full of urine at his head

by Hipster Run Off on Tue, 2010/08/10 - 1:37pm


Was at a Justin Bieber concert the other day, and it seemed like a ’shit storm’ of tween angst. Tween girls and gheys are mad pissed at him for not taking out his peen, and letting every1 have a lil suckle. I think that’s why tween girls ‘get wet’ over tween idols, because they like to fantasize about their first sexual encounter (whether it is a Jonas Bros gang bang, or a 1-on-1 Miley Cyrus 1st lesbian sleepover). N e ways, a ‘disgrunted fan’ decided to throw a water bottle at him. Not sure what was in the water bottle, but will assume that it was ‘urine’, just to jazz up this story. Would be super boring if it was just Fiji / Nestle / Evian / Aquafina water.

N e ways, can only assume that the disgruntled tween’s intent was to assassinate Justin Bieber, kinda like how a John Lennon super fan assassinated him because he <3ed him so much and was pissed he married a crazy AZN. Worried about tweensassinations in 2k10.

Did Justin Bieber ‘handle this assassination attempt’ gracefully?
Will J Bieb be assassinated/ trampled to death?
Will Justin Bieber be able to transition his brand to adulthood [via Justin Timberlake], or will he end up more like one of The Two Coreys?
Do u think white girls are angry at Justin Bieber because he has ‘jungle fever’ and has no interest in white tween vagina?
If Justin Bieber is assassinated, will he be remembered as a ‘pop icon’, kinda like when Michael Jackson died?
what brand of bottled water tastes the best, or are they all just ‘tap water’?
Is ‘tap water’ for poor ppl?

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