glastonbury 2008 - part two

ALPHABEAT’s crunchy summer pop is amazing, and makes me wish I could eat my words having slagged their album. Eating is impossible however, as I’m too busy screaming like a thirteen year old girl to ‘What Is Happening’. Less fun are NEON NEON - who feel cold and aloof. Super Furry legend Gruff Rhys - usually my hero - seems detached, while Har Mar Superstar does the usual lard-ass aerobics. Being the only group that actually lives at Glastonbury, FLIPRON are a twisted delight. During their set, a man dressed as Wolverine does a vaguely sexual boogie with another man, who’s dressed as Colonel Gaddafi (the Hawaiian shirt wearing dictator). Just sit back and picture that for a second. Up at the Park stage, LAST OF THE SHADOW PUPPETS are today’s surprise band (not The Spice Girls - bah!) They treat us to some Wild West folk tunes, and with Jack White hopping onstage to jam with the duo, no-one’s asking for refunds. HOT CHIP drag an 80 piece orchestra up on stage to perform their intro sequence - the flash bastards. They sound great, but not for long - I hear a blues legend on the hill and follow my ears to BUDDY GUY. “They don’t play this kinda jam on the radio any more!” he hollers, while playing guitar solos like a child of God. He pauses only to apply chap-stick. Everybody was curious to see JAY-Z but not many people expected to actually enjoy the bastard. He certainly made my body pop, and attracted far less townie-swine than The Verve will do… on Sunday. * * * * SUNDAY * * * * Today is Marc Radcliffe’s 50th birthday, and he’s celebrating with his Pogues-esque band THE FAMILY MAHONE in the Avalon Tent. “If you’ve only seen us and Will Young today… you’ve made some very wise choices!” he cracks, as the band play a set of enjoyable drinking tunes. After taking a wrong turn, I witness the ghastly SCOUTING FOR GIRLS playing ‘She’s So Lovely.’ In horror I flee, only to be confronted by NEIL DIAMOND. It seems I just can’t win as the golden tanned crooner starts playing the hits. However, I have the last laugh as (1) it starts raining (2) the sound cuts out, and (3) a swarm of seagulls descend on the audience, and begin pecking at their heads. More than making up for it all, LEONARD COHEN is The Almighty Lord Of The Festival, no contest. During ‘Everybody Knows’, his vision of apocalypse now is profoundly moving: “Everybody knows that the plague is coming,” he croaks, “everybody knows that it’s moving fast.” The old crocodile has a glint in his eye as he leads us through ‘The Future’, ‘Tower Of Song’, and the inevitable ‘Hallelujah’. “Thankyou my friends” he deadpans. “You are all angels of the mud.” How do you follow that? Answer: you don’t. THE VERVE have delusions of grandeur, as Dickie Ashcroft jumps about the stage like a Britpop baboon. However, between the psychedelic jams and the never-ending ‘Bittersweet Symphony’, there is some tenderness in ‘The Drugs Don’t Work.’ READ PART ONE OF ARTROCKER.COM AT GLASTONBURY!