ALFONZOS DEMO KITCHEN VOLUME 2

Welcome back unsigned music birdwatchers! And welcome, more specifically, to my luxurious kitchen overlooking London's Hyde Park, where I am currently lounging on a pink inflatable sofa. You know, I was in church yesterday and the priest says to me, he says "Alfonzo?" I say "Yes my Holy friend?" He say "You are very kind to review all these unsigned bands. Can I maybe offer you a Sainthood?" I say "No, my friend, but I know a sausage maker who will pay you £3000,000.. " er... hang on. I'm getting a text message. Hey it's the Priest!! Let's see what my buddy have to say. "ALFONZO. PLEASE STOP INCRIMINATING ME ON A NATIONAL WEBSITE. YOU MORON. REVIEW SOME UNSIGNED BANDS OR YOU WILL BE OUT OF THE CHOIR FOR GOOD!" Ahhhh... Hey! He's got a point. Let's listen to some music... WOOOOO - HOOOOO!

You know, sometimes I just feel like ‘getting my shit together in the country’, and hey! Perfect timing SHE’S GOT SPIES. These guys are like The Velvet Underground having a summer break on a farm with all sorts of mad animals running about. They sound so friendly I might ask them to babysit my love children!
RATING: VEGETABLE PIE

Want to know how fruit feels when you put it in a blender? It feels like EVERYONE TO THE ANDERSON! Their song 'Jump Your Bones' is like Rage Against The Machine with added hair on the balls. I love it! (Just don’t let these guys near a sniper rifle in a crowded shopping mall if you know what I mean)
RATING: SHARKS FIN SOUP

Picture the scene. You are a playboy of the 1980s. You are cruising the beach in a sophisticated car, and your hair is looking great. But suddenly a dilemma! What music should you listen to? Well, you could always try UNKNOWN LANGUAGE.. The urban smoothness on display here will shave you faster than the latest gillette razor, and hey- even if you don’t like ambient electro, go to his myspace because you can play the original Pac Man arcade game there! Everybody’s a winner!
RATING: PRAWN COCKTAIL

I always like to wake up to a bit of speed metal in the mornings, so it’s a joy to hear ATOMIC SUPLEX doing the rounds. These savage Londoners wear motorcycle helmets when they play live, and they make the noise of Atari Teenage Riot going through a particularly tough moment in puberty! Ahem.
RATING: SWEET POTATO SALAD

If indie bands were allowed to soundtrack Science Fiction movies, SMILING STRANGE would make for a great Blade Runner, I think. Their song ‘You And I Are Dangerous’ has that kind of noodle bar chase sequence atmosphere. Infact, I might put this on my ipod and go running through some noodle bars, pretending to be chased! Er… possibly.
RATING: NOODLES

POST SEXUAL LITERATURE / DEMOS TO:



ALFONZOS DEMO KITCHEN
5 VICTORIA MANSIONS
133 HOLLOWAY ROAD
LONDON
N7 8LZ
www.myspace.com/alfonzosdemokitchen

    Post new comment

    The content of this field is kept private and will not be shown publicly.
References to Artrocker refer to content created before 21st October 2011 and are to be considered archived in light of the trademark registration of 'Artrocker'.

Rabbit, Rabbit All Day Long...

Top 5 Downloads

  • Bully For You

    Gorgeous Bully From: Plymouth, United Kingdom The more sanitised, synthetic and computerised mainstream music becomes the more the discerning music lover yearns for something a little more...
  • Johan Reinhold - Shoot Me Down Remix EP

    Having already garnered quite a following in his native Sweden, Johan Reinhold is introducing himself to our ears with his indie-electro-pop sensibilities in the form of a remix EP. Music after the...
  • Corpse Lights: A Curdled Churn

    Woe betide any unfortunate soul who suddenly has a flash of inspiration and records one of the most brilliant songs of the year in mid-December: it simply won’t even get heard amongst all...
  • The King Khan Experience

    I Love The Way You Howl King Khan recently retired The Shrines and The BBQ Show and started a new project – The King Khan Experience. He’s been getting compared to Jimi Hendrix his...
  • Secret Diaries: Parcel Delivery

    Secret Diaries have one of those supremely satisfying band names that make you wonder why no-one has thought of it before. I love it when that happens. And speaking of ‘supremely...

Have You Read?

  • The Drums - Summertime!

    You’re going to fall in love with this EP. Following on from The Drums’ debut hit single (critical hit anyway), Summertime! mixes 80s Factory indie with a distinctly Beach Boys sound...
  • Guest top 10s: You Already Know

    We reviewed their debut album back in August, and now they’ve given us their picks. Since they couldn’t agree collectively, we have some from each band member. Exciting.
  • Pluto not a planet, Battlestar Galactica Series 2 and 3, and Blades Of Glory

    PARSLEY'S COMMLOCK Interplanetary News: Pluto no longer a planet I failed a recent general knowledge quiz because I wrongly said that there were 9 planets in the solar system, not knowing that an...

Photos

  • In Pictures: FOE

    Photos from a recent FOE gig - a friend of our friends Hold Your Horse Is - she’s gonna be big!!! Read the gig review after the jump.
  • In Pictures: Avett Brothers

    Shots of North Carolina’s folk-rocking Avett Brothers’ stop in Glasgow - 22.08.11 Read the review of the gig here.
  • In Pictures: Latitude Festival 2011

    Take a look at the acts and art on offer at this year’s Latitude Festival in Suffolk. Included are the likes of Fight Like Apes, Lykke Li, Sea of Bees and Seasick Steve. Photos from our own...
  • In Pictures: Bad Guys at the Old Blue Last

    Good time with Bad Guys. Photos from the May 29th gig at the Old Blue Last. Read the review by the Bad Guy himself, Stuart London after the jump.  
  • In Pictures: White Lies and Crocodiles at Shepherd's Bush Empire

    Artrocker.com exclusive: for fans of White Lies and Crocodiles we’ve got some fresh pictures from their UK show at the Shepherd’s Bush Empire earlier this month, courtesy of Alessandro...

Blogs