Teachers oppose Army recruitment, Robert Green back in the England squad, and the Now Show

by Parsley on Sat, 2008/03/29 - 3:48pm Post to Twitter

PARSLEY'S COMMLOCK

Education News: Teachers oppose Army recruitment
All credit to Paul McGarr, a teacher from East London. He suggested that he was ok with Army recruitment in schools as long as it was honest enough to explain that the Army kills people, is poorly equipped, occupies countries, has been linked to torture, and doesn't look after its wounded when they get home.

Weak link is what are the alternatives? The Army actually cares enough about having recruits to offer people careers and training. Possibly even camaraderie and self-respect. The only other organisations that seem to be going after young people in Britain with equivalent fervour appear to be religious fanatics and street gangs.

It would be nice if there were some positive role models, and activities that at least seemed to contribute to good in the world. Joining a band or getting involved in sport seem reasonable, although both have drug implications, and these days seem to require you to be a self-starter.

Staying at home and watching TV or playing video games seem almost virtuous compared to the other options available.

Football News : Robert Green back in the England squad
I know several people that glaze over at the thought of football. Others like myself occupy a weird world where they can remember the names of the whole England squad from when they were young, but struggle to name more than a handful of current players.

My continued interest is in no small measure related to my brother's commentary work for West Ham United. They have spawned a phenomenal goalkeeper in Robert Green. I watched a match versus Arsenal where he was a model of skill and reliability. He has saved several penalties, which is no small feat, even in the English premier league.

Previously he had one cap for England but no more, but now due to an injury for the Spurs goalkeeper he is back in the England squad. Now if only England can find him the rest of a team to play with then England's appearances in international competitions might not be so painful.

Radio Review : The Now Show, Fridays 6:30pm, Saturdays 12:27pm Radio 4
You've probably noticed this show if you're ever going to. I don't think it genuinely merits its high rankings in the podcast world, although it has flashes of genius. In fact I think it's an indication of the immaturity of the podcast medium that a combination of it being free-to-air, middle class usage of iPods being high, and there being a general lack of good content, results in its high ranking, in my opinion.

I absolutely admire the genius of Mitch Benn, who regularly comes up with a topical musical parody for the show that is 'on the button'. This week he brilliantly updated The Beatles classic 'the Ballad of John & Yoko'. The original chorus went "the way things are going, they're gonna crucify me". This was Lennon responding to the uproar when he said that The Beatles were 'bigger than God' in fame terms. Benn's parody was in response to the story that Filipino Christians were being warned by their government of the dangers of nailing themselves to a crucifix, as an act of Christian devotion. Benn's chorus ended "it's good that you care, but don't crucify yourself".

He previously had me laughing hysterically with his parody of The Beatles 'Free as a Bird' (the song they constructed from unreleased Lennon backing). Benn's version featured Lennon singing "please don't release this song, it's gone on far too long", with McCartney coming in with an extra vocal explaining that he was padding out the song's length. It's delicious to hear music used to parody music with such sharp humour.

The last such musical genius to grace radio 4 that I particularly remember was Steve Brown on 'In One Ear'. His songs are still stuck in my brain after 20 years, such as a Tom Waits parody where he sings that he "must go down to the drugstore, 'cos I need something from my throat". I did meet him at a filming of Harry Hill's TV show, where he's musical director these days. I suggested he should put out an album of his previous efforts. I suspect he, not unreasonably, thought I was some kind of nut.

Phil Pope, creator of the HeeBeeGeeBees, got to the point of releasing comedy music in genuine record form, with singles 'Meaningless Songs In Very High Voices' (Bee Gees parody) and 'Too Depressed To Commit Suicide' (Police parody). However it seems that usually comedy is considered too 'short term' to be worthy of immortalising in such a way, particularly when it's topical. Like the artists that drew the comics that inspired pop art, parodies of songs are somehow felt less artistically worthy. Meanwhile comedy in the songs of Lennon or the likes of Morrissey has to be taken reverentially and seriously. Bizarre.

parsley@gardenrecords.com [www.gardenrecords.com]