singles for THE week beginning febuary 4 - reviewed by THE young knives

BLOOD RED SHOES / YOU BRING ME DOWN (V2)

HENRY: They don’t have huge aspirations which is refreshing, they don’t worry too much about it. The song’s pretty good, I like the male and female vocals - that Pixies thing. It’s not all that innovative, but then there are only two of them. Three stars! HOUSE OF LORDS: It sounded quite thin compared to when they’re live, but it became fuller when they doubled up the guitars. I don’t know what that means. What does that MEAN? OLIVER: I like the call / response thing they do. And like you say, she’s quite pretty. HENRY: I didn’t say that! OLIVER: Yes you did! ATTIC LIGHTS / NEVER GET SICK OF THE SEA (ISLAND) HENRY: I didn’t like it. It sounded like a cheesy pop attempt at cheesy pop. I’ve only heard it once, so I don’t like to judge, but it scared me. It was frightening. HOUSE OF LORDS: I do like to judge, and I judge them as a wally, rubbish, double rubbish band. It was drippy! The song wasn’t interesting. HENRY: And the title ‘Never Get Sick Of the Sea’ - it implies they have nothing to say. HOUSE OF LORDS: Exactly, it just means ‘I Like the sea.’ It means ‘isn’t the countryside nice’. Nothing to say. THE CAVALIERS / YOU’RE NOT THE SAME GIRL (ONE FIFTEEN) HENRY: L.A.M.E. Piece of shit! Um… it’s not my cup of tea. HOUSE OF LORDS: In their press release it talks about how their bass player had testicular cancer, and he had a testicle removed, is all clear, and his nickname is now “the bollock”. But if that had happened to me, I just wouldn’t mention it in my press release to be honest. I admire their courage. HENDRY: There’s a website called Checkemlads.com where you can go and read people’s stories of testicular cancer and learn how to find lumps. I had a look, and I haven’t got it. THE BRIGHTS / IT WON’T BE LONG NOW (BITTER SCENE RECORDS) HENRY: In the light of the last record we heard, this wasn’t so bad. But as it progressed, it got worse. The man singing was like Morrissey but without a soul. It didn’t feel like it was going anywhere, it was full of guitar slicks. Which is like guitar licks but more cheesy. It needs to be less serious. Don’t be so serious The Brights! HOUSE OF LORDS: The Brights? The Dulls. That’s my review. HENRY: I thought you were gonna say The Shites! OLIVER: It sounds like the Bluetones. Was that a lady or a man singing? HENRY: My God does it really matter? Was it good either way? HOUSE OF LORDS: He just doesn’t like insulting ladies. OLIVER: Exactly. If it was a man though, it was fucking shit. STA / IN LIVING COLOUR (MARINE PARADE) HENRY: It was very S-Express, and had that thing where they turn hip hop beats into dance music. I would dance to it. It could have done with more of a hook, but I like the sounds they use and it was nicely put together. Three out of five! HOUSE OF LORDS: I don’t like dance music, but this was alright. It did annoy me, but it didn’t annoy me like most dance music does. If we were all on speed and had some hot chicks, we’d love that tune. OLIVER: It was a retro 80s thing they were going for, and they did it well. But what does STA stand for? That’s what we want to know! CARBON SILICON / WHY DO MEN FIGHT? (CARBON / SILICON RECORDS) HENRY: As a single it’s a strange choice. It’s not well produced, it sounds like unpleasantly processed drums, the vocals didn’t stand out, and it had a slightly Chubawumba feel to it. OLIVER: I thought it was more Talking Heads-ish. HENRY: I thought it was going to be when it started! It was interesting to begin with, and as it went on it became very soulless. Nice try! Two out of five. HOUSE OF LORDS: It had a rubbbish intro, and then the vocal came in and it sounded wierder. They sound a bit like The Experimental Pop band, but not as good. Pretty boring. One out of five, possibly none! OLIVER: I think if the lyrics had been louder, it would have been one to listen to. But they weren’t, so, pretty boring. Sorry. HENRY: Sorry Carbon Silicon! OLIVER: Sorry! If you’re a young band, we are sorry, Carbon Silicon.